Anorexia Nervosa (Is being thin really worth it?)

Going to school in convents for a large part of my life makes me well aware of eating disorders. For close to 10 years, I've been growing up in schools with only female students. And for most of us, the growing years, especially our teens proved rather mentally and physically challenging to us.

I had personally witnessed how a friend, who was originally a very pretty girl with fair skin and big, dark eyes, had slowly been consumed by her own desire to be stick thin.

This picture on the right is a still from a public service announcement regarding eating disorders. And truth be told this is a situation many people out there  find themselves in each time they look into the mirror. And this can be attributed to the condition called: Anorexia Nervosa.

What is Anorexia Nervosa?

Anorexia basically means to lose appetite but Anorexia Nervosa is an eating disorder. This disorder is basically an extreme or disproportionate fear of gaining weight or fat. Usually, sufferers of Anorexia Nervosa will perform activities that will cause them to experience rapid weight loss. 

Do you know of anyone who does the below:

• Excessive exercise
• Self starvation
• Consuming laxatives excessively
• Vomiting after meals
• Substituting food for supplements
• Continuously expressing despair at not being able to lose more weight

The list is not exhaustive. But basically it is the starving of the body in an attempt to lose weight.

Anorexia Nervosa sufferers live in constant mental and even physical turmoil. They suffer from a distorted self image which forces them to curb their instinctive hunger in the attempt to not take in food so as to lose weight. Sufferers are found to have high amounts of the hunger hormone, Gherlin, as their body tries to save itself by making them want to consume food. However, Anorexic individuals tend to ignore such hunger.

In the long run, starving the body of it's needed nutrients causes the body to shut down. 

When starvation occurs, the body actually eats itself in the attempt to survive. Catabolysis occurs where the body breaks down it's own fat, muscle and other tissue in an attempt to keep the vital parts of the body functioning like the Central Nervous System and the heart. 

This proves to be a large strain on the body as the supporting system of the body slowly fails. 

Putting the body under such self-inflicted conditions can cause many other health issues as well:

1. A large number of anorexic people suffer from osteoporosis, where bone density is reduced and this will cause higher risk of bone fracture and bent posture.
2. Women who are anorexic tend to have very irregular menstrual cycles as their body stops ovulating. In the long run, it will develop into permanent infertility.
3. Depression may set in as there is a lack of carbohydrates and other nutrients that tend to curb depression.
4. Abdominal distention may occur, which is the bloating or increase in volume in the abdominal area.
5. Heart problems may occur due to the stress of pumping as the heart muscles reduce in size and heart rhythm becomes slow.
6. Nerve damages may occur which will affect the brain, causing the sufferer to have seizures or trouble in coordinating thoughts.
7. Multiple organ failure may occur in the end where the vital organs can no longer perform it's bodily functions and the body shuts down slowly and painfully.

There are so many other things that could happen to the body should one give in to this monster which is called Anorexia Nervosa.

What causes Anorexia Nervosa?

People try to find out why such eating disorders occur.

1. Genetics. If one has an eating disorder, there is a high chance that eating disorder runs in the family.
2. Personality traits. Some people have low self-esteem and the inability to cope with stress or the need to feel perfect.
3. Social Pressures. It is not far-fetched to say that the media portrays being thin to be good. This could affect many people and this in turn may lead to obsession to bow to social pressures.
4. Stressful life events. Sometimes a trigger event may happen. It could be bullying or the passing of a family and anorexia is just a way for the person to cope with it.

What do I do if I have Anorexia Nervosa?

Many a time, curing Anorexia Nervosa proves to be a lifelong battle. Not many people have the strength to do this alone and so professional help is needed. 

Some sufferers are warded into facilities where they undergo counseling as well as to stop weight loss and promote weight gain in the individual slowly. The main goal would be to eradicate thoughts of and behaviors of such excessive weight loss as well as to help the body accept weight gain and to let the individual normalize a their diet.

There is no fast cure for this disease of the mind. An Anorexia Nervosa sufferer needs a lot of support and understanding from those around them.

Personally...

These people need help. And help is what they should get. So next time when you want to call someone "Fat", think twice because you may just be the trigger to send them down on that spiral that might eventually cause their deaths.

Love,

MM

What I See In The Mirror- Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Mirror, mirror on the wall...

It is not uncommon to hear girls in the restrooms complaining about their looks.

"Oh my God, I think I gained the freshman fifteen. I look so fat now."

"I wish my boobs were bigger."

"My nose looks like one big mess."

But what happens when these thoughts are all these girls can think of when they look into the mirror? And girls, you are not the only one who can feel these way. Some men do too.

If these thoughts are plaguing your brain whenever you see yourself in the mirror; if catching a reflection of yourself in the shop windows causes you to want to look away from the sight; if everyone around you is telling you you don't look bad but you still feel that you look ugly or that some part of your body just isn't good enough; if you have already gone for plastic surgery so many times yet feel that a body part is too ugly;

You could have BODY DYSMORPHIC DISORDER.

What is Body Dysmorphic Disorder?

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is considered a mental illness whereby a person experiences excessive preoccupation with their body image or preconceived physical defect. This obsession with thinking that there is something wrong with their bodies could harm their social, work and family life. It is not uncommon for these people to eventually, as their disorder gains more momentum over time, to withdraw from other people and society altogether.

Sufferers of BDD tend to have low self-esteem, high levels of anxiety, depression and may sometimes come up with extreme behaviour to cope with BDD. 

• They could refuse to leave the house.
• Walk around with sunglasses, scarves, face masks etc.
• Their houses have no objects that could have a reflective surface.
• They do not attend social functions.
• They spend hours in front of the mirror picking out the flaws in their bodies.

The list above is not exhaustive. These behaviors could start out as just something that they do once a day or less. But as the disorder grows, it soon turns into an obsession, a need, something they have to do just to function normally.

If you can relate to the above scenarios, here are some steps that you may want to take; it may save your life. 

Talk To Someone

Find someone to talk to immediately. If you find that there is nothing wrong with you mentally and all you think is wrong with you is your physical defect, talk to someone too. You have to understand that other people (normally, when you don't already lock yourself away from them) tend to see more of you than you see yourself. Our eyes are all pointing forwards looking outwards from our heads, so we are made to look at others not at ourselves. By getting a second or third or fourth or even more opinion, it would be more accurate than relying on one opinion (yourself) which could be wrong on its own in the first place. This is why people do surveys, to get a more accurate finding.

Try To Accept That You Have A Problem

Humans are social creatures and shunning society is not what we are programmed to do. If you find yourself doing that you have to admit that there is a problem. Admitting that there is a problem would be the first step on the road to recovery. You have to see or yourself that the thing that has to be changed is not your poor nose that is close to collapsing after the multiple cosmetic surgeries it has undergone, it is your mentality that is the one that needs to be changed.

Where Did It Come From?

Such thoughts are usually triggered from events that happened before. It could be something someone said, a traumatic life experience, a phase in life that you feel you never grew out of etc. It would be good if you could pin-point when such thoughts first started coming into your head because when you know what triggered this to happen, the possibility of looking  back at the event and facing it to get rid of it is that much higher.

However, if you have no idea at all as to how or why this started, it's alright.

Seek Professional Help

When you have come to the conclusion that it is a problem, of course the next step is wanting to solve it. Seek professional assistance. It can be in the course of a therapist, counselor or psychiatrist. And once you are on a journey, please go through with it and not quit halfway because you want to get better, you have to get better and you need to get better.

Personally...

I feel that you are in control of your life. What you see in the mirror isn't as important as how you see the reflection. You don't need to have a symmetrical face with a high-bridged nose, perfectly formed lips and an oval face to look good. Be confident in yourself because you are a fighter to be able to live for the number of years that you have lived on this Earth. 

I'm not saying that you should live in self-denial if something is really, medically proven, wrong. If the weighing machine and doctors issue you stern warnings that what you are doing is detrimental to your health, then do something about it. 

But always do things in moderation. 

You don't have to be stick thin to be beautiful, but that doesn't mean that even when your doctor tells you that your arteries are in danger of clogging themselves out, you don't do anything either.

Health is more important than beauty. What good would a silicon doll be to this world? And that could be what you would be if the obsession took over your life and caused your death.

I would love to hear what people have to say about this topic. please feel free to comment :) And I hope all of you live happy and healthy and self-fulfilling lives.

Love,

MM

How to DEAL with Negativity

We know that negativity is a state of mind. Now where is this "mind" at again? Yes, it's within YOU.

You can't stop a typhoon from blowing across Hong Kong; you couldn't stop the volcano from erupting in Peru; you can't make sure that it'll be a sunny day for a picnic; you most probably won't be able to change how other people choose to perceive you either. There are so many things in life that you cannot change. But one thing that you can change and that you have power over is what is inside of YOU.

The First Step: Admit It

This first step is actually the first step to treating a lot of mental or emotional issues. To get rid of something, one has to take ownership of that thing first. You have to acknowledge that it is a problem to solve the problem.

Pin-Point The Problem

Actively be conscious as to when you are being negative. You could be in front of the mirror and you catch yourself saying "Oh I am such a fat and ugly slob"; or you could be with your boyfriend but thinking that he would prefer another girl you think is more attractive than you.

It doesn't matter. Once you find yourself starting to go down that Spiral of Negativity, pin it down or pick it up, and look at it in all it's ugliness. This negative thought is the problem.

THROW it Away
 

You've pin-point it and you've seen it for what it really is. It's no longer that little invisible ninja that appears suddenly and wrecks emotional havoc in the minutes or hours after it appears. You see it and you know that it's bad for you. And if something is bad for you, throw it away.

1. Consciously tell yourself to stop the thought immediately.
2. Try talking to yourself to give yourself a verbal reminder to get rid of that thought.
3. Physically do something that signifies you throwing that thought away. ie writing the thought on a piece of paper, crumpling it up and throwing it away.

Just do something to throw away that one thought. By focusing your attention on doing that, you tend to be able to forget about and ignore the cascade of other negative thoughts that will come scurrying in after that first one.

Why the thought?

Treating a symptom is not the same as curing the illness causing the symptom. You have to find where this negativity stems from.

1. Could it be something someone dear to you mentioned that affeted you?
2. A trigger word or situation that you find yourself facing which brings about such bouts of negativity each time you experience the word or situation.
3. Childhood trauma.
4. Something you came across that you thought made sense in a depressing sort of way.
5. Stress, anxiety, pain or sickness.

The list is not exhaustive. The key here is to find out what is causing the negativity and why it is affecting you so. Once you've found out the cause, take action against it.

If it is due to something that happened in the past, understand this: As of now, no one has built a known time machine that can transport you back into the past. There is no way that you can change anything in the past. The only way that you can ever function properly again is to focus on the present and future.

If it's due to something happening now then you can do something about. Get away from the thing that causes you to be so negative. If it's someone who tells you things that get you down, get away from them. If it's stress, do something to deal with the stress like exercising or hanging out with friends to get rid of the stress. If looking into the mirror makes you feel fat, hit the gym and do something about it. Just understand that if it's something that you can change, do it.

If you are one of those people who feel depressed for no rhyme or reason and after trying you still can't find out why you are this way. Talk to someone about it. If you don't want to see a therapist, talk to a friend, a teacher, a blog or write a comment here and talk to me. But in the mean time, try to actively stop those thoughts in their tracks when you pin-point them.

There are so many ways to deal with being negative. You just have to find a way that best suits you. Just remember that there is always hope and that no one can say that you have lost any battle as long as you are still alive.

Love,

MM

Let's talk about NEGATIVITY

Everyone gets negative sometimes. But what happens when negativity is what you are all about?

"This is never going to work."

"I'll try, but that's the best I can do, I guess."

"Why is everyone against me?"

"I hate my life."

If thoughts such as these come into your head once in awhile, that's normal. Everyone feels down sometimes. The key word here is SOMETIMES. 


What is Negativity?

Negativity, or being pessimistic, can be defined as a state of mind where the person places more weight on negative rather than positive situations, outcomes, experiences, information etc etc. In layman terms when you hand the person an apple, they will assume that the apple is rotten rather than sweet.

Chicken or Egg?

Here, some people may ask: So where does negativity come from? This is really a "chicken or the egg first?" question. Does it start with people possessing a negative state of mind first which actually causes things around them to go wrong? Or does it start with things going wrong first which causes people to become negative and then the spiral starts?

There are some people who, the moment they are born, are faced with pain and suffering many of us cannot even imagine. There are children born with conditions like Sirenomelia, which is also known as the mermaid syndrome, who were only expected to live for a few months. Imagine being born into this world and before you can even learn to speak you have already been given a "dateline" to your life; now is that a depressing situation or what? 

There are children born into families where their parents are not there for them or downright abuse them, be it sexually or emotionally or physically. These children tend to develop trauma and dissociation. Such cases such as children like Beth Thomas, show children with no conscience and no emotional attachment to other humans due to childhood trauma, abuse and lack of love. These people were practically born into negativity, and people will say that in this case negativity attacked them first.

And then there are normal everyday humans, born into normal and whole families and one fine day they write a suicide note to their parents and jump to their deaths. I won't say that their lives are perfect. There will be, what I like to call, "down-times" in everyone's lives and perhaps they had one "down-time" too many. The negativity that comes at these people come later, but that doesn't make it less destructive. In these cases, people will start saying that it's the person who has the negativity in their heads first and they just couldn't cope with things in their lives that other people go through and come out unscathed.

It doesn't matter which comes first, the circumstance or the emotion 
Humans are capable of many things. We can be strong. And though sometimes we cannot change things, we can change how we think about things. 

I always tell myself that "Nobody can make me cry if I don't let them." It doesn't matter how hurt they make me feel, as long as I don't allow myself to feel hurt there is nothing they can do. 

You can't control or change what people think, say or do, but the one thing you can change is how YOU think. An old saying goes "If life gives you lemons, make lemonades". And that is exactly what you should do. No one lives a perfect life. NOBODY. 

So when things don't go according to plan, you can bet that out of the 7 billion over people in this world, at least someone else is feeling exactly the same way as you are.

You are not alone in this 
So stop thinking that you are and WAKE UP and GET OUT of that hell hole that you are digging for yourself. If someone is bringing you down, why give them the satisfaction of successfully bringing you down. Go down fighting if you have to and who is to say that you won't win the fight?

Negativity, at the end of the day is really just a mindset. It doesn't matter what caused it because at the end of the day the one superhero who can put a stop to it is YOURSELF.

I will be writing more about how to deal with negativity so stay tuned alright? And for those of you out there who have stumbled upon this post, HOLD ON, we'll get you out of there. :)

Love,

MM

Seeking Directions

No one was born with a map in their heads telling them how to live their lives. No one was born with a rule book embedded in their brains so that they know what is right and what is not.

Some people say bad people are born bad, others say they are made. But at the end of the day, our lives are journeys that we have to go through. Some people's journeys will be short ones, others will go through long ones. Some journeys are painful throughout, others have many little specks of happiness in them. But one this is for sure, the moment we are born, we start out on our journey. Everyone is born a fighter, an explorer, a scientist,an inventor etc etc because we make our things in our lives happen.

This blog is just a small portal through which I want to help let at least some people who are lost find at least a light at the end of the tunnel. To some, it may be random topics. But to those who can relate to these topics, I hope that you see that you are not alone and at least someone had thought about the same topics as you and is willing to share their opinions with you and hopefully hear yours.

Love, MM